Man. Can’t believe it’s getting rough in here (on here?) and it’s only day 3 of the challenge. Let’s pretend that I posted this yesterday like I was supposed to and planning on – shall we? Thanks.
The prompt was: “educate us on something you know a lot about or are good at.”
Give me an M! M! Gimme an E! E! Gimme an L! L! … Eventually we’d get there and it would spell MELTDOWN. A skill in which I’ve earned my varsity letter. For years I’ve been refining and honing it into a powerful, searing point. I’m so good I sometimes even catch myself by surprise when hear that catch in my throat and feel my tear ducts fill up. Those are skillz – mad crazy skills and I have the therapist and Rx to prove it.
I can go from Zero to Cranky in 0.25 seconds without the slightest hint of a previously known trigger. I can laugh so hard I cry and then from there succumb to rib-wracking sobs.
In fact – this post would have been up last night had I not had to take a break from writing this to have a meltdown. As my glorious friend E says : “That’s so meta.” Right?
If you too want to get good at meltdowns I suggest you begin to deal with previously unresolved childhood baggage, spend a few years in the state of transience moving through multiple states (if you don’t move from state to state at least move apartments every 6 months or so), get married, complete an associates degree in 6 months and buy a house. If that’s not something you have the time for however, there are other things you can do. For example:
Go without sleep. This is probably the most easily achieved “skill” that will help you improve the frequency of your meltdowns and get in some serious ugly crying. If you usually fall asleep like clockwork at 10pm and wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed at 0600 – make yourself stay up until at least 1am and get up at 5. Do that for a week or two. Do not nap.
Forget to eat. This is just as easy – if not easier actually, than going without sleep. Combine the two and I guarantee that you will have an amazing meltdown. Have a cup of coffee or tea for breakfast and nothing else. Ignore your stomach growling. Have some cheese and crackers for lunch at about 11 and nothing else until dinner. The key to this one is determination. Someone might offer you food – don’t take it.
Worry about money – or change pages in the book of “Your Finances” with your partner without telling them. This one is a little tricky if you’re rolling in money, financially savvy or don’t really talk about money with your partner on a regular basis. Eventually though – if you keep at it – I’m sure you’ll find a way to add this into your meltdown mix.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need a nap.